Leadership is influence, and influence is earned one conversation at a time
A title gives you authority. It does not give you a team. I learned the difference by sitting down with people, one lunch break at a time.
Darius Curta · 22 October 2026 · 4 min read
In May 2022 I became Managing Director of Hortman Clinics. Nine months later I was sitting in a room at Palazzo Versace Dubai, listening to John C. Maxwell. I was not there for a photograph. I was there because I felt I needed more wisdom to lead, and I could not think of anyone better to learn from than leaders themselves.
Nothing more, nothing less
Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. John C. Maxwell
It is a simple sentence, and it removed something comfortable from me. If leadership is influence, then my title does very little work on its own. People do not follow a position. They follow someone they trust, and trust does not arrive with a contract.
They need to see you do it
The first change was in me. I became more self aware. If I wanted to teach my team something, they needed to see me do it first. You cannot ask people for a standard you are not living yourself. That is where my leadership moved from managing people to leading by example.
One person at a time
The second change was slower. I decided to actually know the people I work with. Not all at once, and not in a meeting. As big as the company is, I have sat down with every employee, casually, on their lunch break or while they were in the middle of a task. Any opening was the right opening.
We spoke about their struggles, their dreams and their hopes. Today I know at least a handful of things about each person on my team, not on paper but on an emotional level. That is not a management technique. It is simply the difference between working next to someone and knowing them.
- Do not wait for a formal moment. The real conversations happen in the ordinary ones.
- Ask about the person, not only the task.
- Remember what they tell you. That is how people know you were listening.
- Do first what you want your team to do.
It works both ways
What surprised me is that the connection runs in both directions. I understand my team better, and they understand me. That is what influence really is. Not something you hold over people, but something built between you.
We rise by lifting others. You cannot lift someone you do not know.